What Do You Value?

    Living in a city like L.A., it can be very easy for me to forget this question.  Everywhere I look, billboards and advertisements tell me what to watch, what to wear, what car to drive, what products to put on my face and body, and what plastic surgeon to see about changing said face and body.

    Though my family and I have lived simply and happily for many years, there is still the occasional marketing "tug" that suggests that I’m missing something: that I don’t have enough, that I don’t do enough, that my child isn't enrolled in enough activities, etc.  And, on occasion, if only briefly, I buy into it.

    What has helped to drag me out of the morass of “not enough,” is to remember that I am not a victim of my circumstances.  I have chosen, and continue to choose, to live simply because it affords me the "luxury" of spending time with my family, of doing what I love, and of engaging with the world in a way that is meaningful to me.

     Though my husband and I could work full-time at more lucrative jobs, we have each made a conscious decision to work part-time, from home, so that we can enjoy each other's company and have time with our daughter that is neither rushed nor over-scheduled.

      We choose not to buy things we don’t need (and even some of the things we want), because we’d rather put that money toward paying off graduate student loans, buying a mortgage-free home, and retiring from paid work in the next ten years—each of which is well within reach, given our spending and saving habits.

      What we receive in exchange for “stuff”, is freedom.  Though my life choices may seem weird to some (or just “cute” and endearing to others), I wouldn't trade what my family and I have for the world.  Our lifestyle has allowed us to travel, to volunteer for and support charitable organizations that are near and dear to our hearts, and to make our own work/play schedules—heading out on a Tuesday morning, for example, on a whole-family museum adventure.

      So….what do you value? What brings you a deep and abiding sense of joy, peace, and contentment?  What are you passionate about?  What excites and nourishes you on a soul level?  (These might include, but are certainly not limited to: spending time with your family and friends, taking part in a spiritual community, being in nature, doing the work you love, playing a sport you enjoy, being of service to others, pursuing volunteer and/or social justice work, giving money to charity, being environmentally responsible, eating healthy foods, being physically active, etc.)

     Keep a list of your values, your personal “touchstones,” near to your heart (or in your pocket), and when that voice of “not enough” comes up, take a deep breath, take out the list, and relax in the knowledge that you are living—or moving toward—the life you want to live.   

Thank You, Amy Dacyczyn

   

    The Complete Tightwad Gazette was the one and only item I'd placed on my Christmas wish list, five years ago, and was purchased (quite fittingly, I thought) by my nine-year old niece, my Secret Santa, for under $7, used, on e-bay.

    After all the gifts had been opened, and everyone was milling about, eating, and playing, I found the comfiest chair in the house and, surrounded by nieces, nephews, hubby, and in-laws, proceeded to pore over each page of your book, highlighters in hand.

    In the years since, I have read and re-read all 927 pages, and have recommended it to anyone who's even hinted at wanting to save money or wishing things weren't so expensive (which is to say, just about everyone).  My husband jokes (and is well aware) that it's the only book I'd take with me on a deserted island, if forced to make the decision, and I have waxed poetic, on more than one occasion, about the wisdom contained in its pages. 

     The Tightwad Gazette came into my life at a time when I desperately needed it, and when I knew there had to be more options to saving money than simply buying things on sale.  With my limited income and a husband in graduate school, we needed other ways to live within a tight budget without feeling pinched.  I had been frugal, but without the creativity to back it up, felt increasingly deprived.  Though my husband had grown up in relative poverty, he had mentioned, only weeks before, "This is the first time in my life that I've really felt poor." 

     Reading your book gave me hope that there was another way to live, and that it was not only possible (but infinitely more likely) that if I adopted certain habits, my life and finances would change for the better.  

     I am very happy to say that that has been the case, and that in the last five years, we have gone from feeling deprived to feeling an unbelievable freedom.  Craig and I (and now Emma, age 3) have the wherewithal to do what we love, to spend time together, and to live into our values--all while spending considerably less than the national average.  

     I will be forever grateful to you, to your family, and to the Tightwad staff for sharing your experience and suggestions, and for making this information available to the masses.

     Thank you, again, and bless you.